Monday 13th May 2019

Two years on, I randomly come across Je bois des cafés je me fais avorter by Clara Lalix.

I would have liked to have read her story back then, when I was searching for clues, lost in the polarised world of a pro-life pro-choice digital battle. She gives a raw and honest testimony, an account in 26 Instagram entries. A voice that is free of self-censorship or shame, telling the story as it is. She would have been my companion of misfortune, my partner in crime.

I don’t think of Bean much nowadays but it certainly is part of who I am. I have grown to accept that it was a difficult time in my life, one that I carry with me always, one that I no longer want to feel shame or guilt about.

I decide to go through old journals and diaries. I want to tell my story. For myself, for the woman that I was two years ago and the one that I am becoming. For whoever might find it helpful in any way, and to break the silence around abortion.

If this isn’t closure, it's not far off…