Today I am thirty. Coming to my own birthday gathering was a challenge in itself. I have wanted to cancel many times; many times, Paul persuaded me not to.
In the morning I wake up empty, again. In bed, I cry out the tears of the hole that I carry, I cry out the years that are passing by, I cry out my growing insecurity, I cry out the last two months. Often, birthdays are tough. Some more than others.
Today the sun is shining. We are in my favourite place in the world, me and my favourite people. Fall Bay. A swim in the sea. Friends and laughter. An evening in the garden. Soothing familiarity of the cottage.